The “F-Word” in Management

If there’s one thing that gets managers in trouble more than anything else, it’s the “F-word.” No, not that one. I’m talking about feelings.

Too often, managers allow emotions, both their own and others, to cloud judgment, shape decisions, and dictate responses. While emotions are natural and part of being human, they can be destructive when they take the wheel in leadership.

Feelings vs. Facts

Effective leaders make decisions based on facts, data, and principles, not fleeting emotions. When feelings dominate decision-making, the results can be:

· Inconsistent leadership – Making decisions differently depending on mood, stress levels, or personal biases.

· Avoidance of tough calls – Allowing fear of confrontation to prevent addressing poor performance or workplace issues.

· Over-commitment to poor decisions – Sticking with bad hires, toxic employees, or ineffective strategies out of personal attachment.

Great managers don’t let how they feel about a situation overrule what they know to be right.

The Most Common Feelings That Sabotage Leadership

Here are some of the biggest emotional traps in management that can lead to poor decisions:

1. Fear (of confrontation, failure, or change)

· Avoiding difficult conversations because you don’t want to upset an employee.

· Refusing to address a toxic team member because they’re a high performer.

· Hesitating to implement a necessary change due to fear of pushback.

Overcoming Fear

A Nelson Mandela quote comes to mind. "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it." Professional growth doesn’t happen in a comfort zone, it happens when fears are faced eye to eye.

Avoiding confrontation may feel safe, but this feeling is “fool’s gold”.

One thing I’ve learned over the years is we teach people how to treat us with what we tolerate.

Learning to face tough situations can start with a simple statement, “I need you help with something” and taking a head-on position with facts, clear expectations, and confidence.

2. Guilt (feeling bad about holding people accountable)

· Overlooking missed deadlines because you don’t want to be “too hard” on someone.

· Letting an underperforming employee slide because they “really need this job.”

· Avoiding layoffs even when the business clearly needs restructuring.

Accountability is not cruelty, it is clarity. Letting things slide doesn’t help employees—it sets them up for failure.

True leadership means holding people to clear standards with fairness and respect, because what you allow is what will continue. Hold employees to clear standards while still treating them with fairness and respect.

3. Anger (frustration, resentment, or impatience)

· Making rash decisions in the heat of the moment.

· Snapping at employees instead of coaching them through mistakes.

· Holding grudges against employees who challenge your authority.

In James 1:20, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."

Can you think of anything good in your life that happened when you were angry?

Anger clouds judgment, weakens relationships, and often leads to regret. Great leaders exercise patience, self-control, and wisdom, choosing to respond rather than react.

Instead of letting frustration dictate your actions, take a breath, seek understanding, and focus on long-term solutions—because true strength is found in self-discipline, not in outbursts.

4. Loyalty (overvaluing personal relationships over performance)

· Keeping an ineffective employee because they’ve been with the company for years.

· Playing favorites or giving special treatment to certain team members.

· Avoiding hard truths with friends or family in the workplace.

Favoritism and avoiding tough conversations for the sake of relationships hurt the entire team.

In Proverbs 27:6 (NIV): "Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

True loyalty is not avoiding hard conversations, it’s having them.

Keeping ineffective employees or playing favorites for the sake of personal comfort weakens the entire team. A great leader values fairness over favoritism and is willing to speak the truth, even when it’s difficult. Leadership is about doing what’s right, not what’s easy.

One lesson I’ve always taught my children is this. "Never let another person’s ignorance compromise your integrity."

Why? The biggest reason is the other person will let you do it and the next biggest reason is there are no secrets in a factory, office or organization. Don’t fool yourself into thinking otherwise.

5. Sympathy (confusing compassion with enabling)

· Ignoring repeated absenteeism because “they’re going through a tough time.”

· Making exceptions for one person but enforcing policies strictly for others.

· Keeping someone in a role they’re struggling with instead of helping them transition.

Proverbs 27:5-6 (NIV) – "Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."

Show empathy, but ensure expectations remain consistent. Helping someone doesn’t mean lowering standards.

Inconsistently enforcing policies creates resentment and weakens leadership credibility while treating everyone fairly strengthens workplace culture.

Do not be an enabler. Helping someone means guiding them to improve, not excusing poor performance. Sometimes, the best support is challenging them to rise to expectations, our course with “grace and truth”. .

6. Pride (ego, stubbornness, or refusal to admit mistakes)

· Rejecting feedback or ideas from employees because you “know best.”

· Holding onto a bad decision just to avoid admitting you were wrong.

· Taking credit for others success while blaming others for failures.

Proverbs 16:18 (NIV): "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall."

Pride blinds leaders to wisdom, stifles growth, and weakens trust. Rejecting feedback, refusing to admit mistakes, or taking credit for others’ success only leads to failure.

Pride is a silent destroyer in leadership. It blinds leaders to reality, alienates employees, and creates a culture of fear rather than trust.

When leaders reject feedback, hold onto bad decisions, or take credit for others’ success, the fallout is inevitable—low morale, high turnover, and missed opportunities for growth. Humility isn’t weakness, it’s the foundation of true strength.

Destruction in leadership doesn’t always come as a dramatic collapse; often, it’s a slow erosion of credibility.

Relationships Without Emotional Baggage

Some leaders hesitate to hold employees accountable because they feel bad about correcting behavior. Others allow personal relationships to interfere with professional expectations. The best leaders maintain professional relationships that are based on:

· Respect, not favoritism – Treating everyone fairly, even if some personalities naturally mesh better than others.

· Honest conversations, not avoidance – Addressing performance issues directly rather than tiptoeing around them.

· Commitment to company values, not personal comfort – Upholding organizational standards, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Great leaders balance empathy with accountability, ensuring that relationships are built on fairness, honesty, and a shared commitment to excellence—without the weight of emotional baggage.

When Feelings Have a Place

It is impossible to remove feeling altogether so don’t try. The point is not to make decisions at the pinnacle of your feelings. This doesn’t mean emotions should be eradicated from leadership altogether.

Empathy is a leadership superpower—but it should inform, not control, decision-making. There’s a difference between understanding an employee’s frustration and letting it dictate company policy.

Great leaders balance grace and truth—acknowledging emotions while ensuring decisions remain grounded in logic and fairness.

The Bottom Line

The next time you find yourself making a management decision, ask:

· Am I reacting based on emotion, or am I responding based on facts and principles?

· Would I make the same decision if I removed my personal feelings from the equation?

· Am I leading with consistency and fairness, or am I letting emotions dictate my leadership?

The best managers keep the “F-word” (feelings) in check—so that emotions support leadership rather than sabotage it.